Co-Dependency Quiz

From ‘He Did Deliver Me From Bondage’ by Colleen Harrison

This quiz is meant to determine if you possess co-dependent characteristics and traits. Most of us carry some of these traits, and respond “sometimes” in these ways. But it becomes a problem for us and those we love when we dominantly respond in the co-dependent ways listed here.

  1. We assume responsibility for other’s feelings and or choices.
  2. We have difficulty identifying our own feelings: happiness, pain, anger, joy, sadness, loneliness, etc.
  3. We have difficulty expressing our feelings in healthy ways.
  4. We tend to fear that our feelings or needs will be belittled or rejected by others.
  5. We tend to minimize, alter or even deny the truth about our feelings or needs.
  6. We tend to put other’s feelings and needs ahead of our own, not allowing there to be a healthy balance with our feelings and needs.
  7. Our fear of other’s feelings, especially anger, determines what we say and do.
  8. Our serenity and attention is determined by how others are feeling or by what they’re doing.
  9. We do not realize that feelings are not good or bad, that they just are.
  10. We question or ignore our own conscience, our own values, in order to connect with significant others – trusting and obeying their feelings or opinions more than our own.
  11. Other people’s actions or desires tend to determine how we respond or react.
  12. Our sense of self worth is based on other/outer influences instead of on our personal witness of God’s love and esteem for us.
  13. We have difficulty making decisions and are frightened of being wrong or making a mistake.
  14. We are perfectionistic and place too many expectations on ourselves and others.
  15. We are not comfortable acknowledging good things about ourselves and tend to judge everything we do, think or say as not being good enough.
  16. We do not know that it is okay to be vulnerable and find it difficult, almost impossible to ask for help.
  17. We do not see that it is okay to talk about problems outside the family, thus we leave ourselves and our families stranded in the troubles they are experiencing.
  18. We are steadfastly loyal – even when that loyalty is unjustified and often personally harmful to us.
  19. We have to be needed in order to have a relationship with others.