From ‘He Did Deliver Me From Bondage’ by Colleen Harrison
This quiz is meant to determine if you possess co-dependent characteristics and traits. Most of us carry some of these traits, and respond “sometimes” in these ways. But it becomes a problem for us and those we love when we dominantly respond in the co-dependent ways listed here.
- We assume responsibility for other’s feelings and or choices.
- We have difficulty identifying our own feelings: happiness, pain, anger, joy, sadness, loneliness, etc.
- We have difficulty expressing our feelings in healthy ways.
- We tend to fear that our feelings or needs will be belittled or rejected by others.
- We tend to minimize, alter or even deny the truth about our feelings or needs.
- We tend to put other’s feelings and needs ahead of our own, not allowing there to be a healthy balance with our feelings and needs.
- Our fear of other’s feelings, especially anger, determines what we say and do.
- Our serenity and attention is determined by how others are feeling or by what they’re doing.
- We do not realize that feelings are not good or bad, that they just are.
- We question or ignore our own conscience, our own values, in order to connect with significant others – trusting and obeying their feelings or opinions more than our own.
- Other people’s actions or desires tend to determine how we respond or react.
- Our sense of self worth is based on other/outer influences instead of on our personal witness of God’s love and esteem for us.
- We have difficulty making decisions and are frightened of being wrong or making a mistake.
- We are perfectionistic and place too many expectations on ourselves and others.
- We are not comfortable acknowledging good things about ourselves and tend to judge everything we do, think or say as not being good enough.
- We do not know that it is okay to be vulnerable and find it difficult, almost impossible to ask for help.
- We do not see that it is okay to talk about problems outside the family, thus we leave ourselves and our families stranded in the troubles they are experiencing.
- We are steadfastly loyal – even when that loyalty is unjustified and often personally harmful to us.
- We have to be needed in order to have a relationship with others.