My Pain and Suffering can end?
“ALL suffering is RESISTANCE to what is.”
Wow, is that ever a mouthful. This is a statement that when fully felt can literally change your DNA! Cellular change takes place when a concept, expressed in WORDS, is taken in, felt and acknowledged and truly experienced. Let me share a conversation I had with a client today. This client knew in her head that she was being codependent with her daughter in a particular situation. “I know it’s codependent and yet I continue to repeat the pattern” Why do you repeat it, I asked? Client: Because I feel bad that she feels bad. (Her daughter is leaving assignments till the last minute and staying up very late and engaging mom’s help to get it done) So you feel guilt? Yes and anger, she said. Who are you angry at? I’m angry at ME, she said! What’s the guilt about? I feel like I am a bad mom if I don’t stay up and help her. I helped her to see that she got that programming from her mom. Which most of our beliefs come from the programming we received from the womb through the age of 8. (Please note: this is never an excuse to blame mom or dad…it’s just information and is true for all of us!) It’s on the “hard drive” of the computer, our brains…specifically the sub-conscious. We continued processing this and we talked about how her worth was never in question but sometimes we get a little dyslexic and believe what we DO or don’t do determines our worth. Her understanding that this was a pattern she picked up from her mom was a big aha moment! She sensed feeling emotionally abandoned by her mom. Her mom was always sick and “needed to lie down” at the most opportune moments! This was how mom escaped having to be real and open with her kids. Her mom would create “emergencies” where she got to rescue everyone and save everyone and make them feel safe. She could see that she was doing a version of this with her daughter! My client realized that letting her daughter own her consequences for putting off assignments till the last minute, ie: failing was a step in the right direction in allowing this pattern to run its course and be over with finally! Rescuing was a deep pattern in this family generations back in coming across the plains and needing rescued or in the form it’s taken on in present time between this mother and daughter. We want and crave connection and will get it anyway we can …even if it’s a counterfeit form of connection. True connection requires vulnerability, being willing to be open and exposed. My client told me then of this beautiful imagery that came into her mind and heart. There is a picture of the Savior at the door and the door has no handle on his side. The handle is on our side of the door and requires that we open it and let Him into our lives and hearts. She could see how her behavior was like her keeping the chain attached on her side of the door, only allowing a little of His light and energy into her life. When instead she could choose to really trust Him and unlatch that chain and let Him fully into her life and heart instead of feeling just a part or portion of His love and presence she could fully open that door and let Him in.
If this client was to stay in resistance with what she was experiencing with her daughter the pattern most definitely would have continued and would not have been exposed and the learning would not have taken place. The suffering ended with not resisting what was right there in front of her. She had the courage to look at it and learn from it. She went into it and fully experienced it!
I LOVE what I do! I love to allow God to work through me with the “knowledge” He has given me. The modalities that I know and practice He is the author of. These tools have assisted change and healing and wholeness in my life (and continue to do so) and I love being able to give back and share these healing opportunities with others.